Never In The Kitchen...

When Company Arrives

When we moved into those sexy, swinging Sixties, everyone wanted to party...and everyone wanted to be at the party.  No one wanted to man the kitchen.  With that in mind, a slew of cookbooks were published to make you a great hostess without spending time in the kitchen.  Theresa Morse's Never In The Kitchen When Company Arrives is just one of those cookbooks.

Morse pulls no punches.  This is not a cookbook that tells you to put on lipstick and order out.  She has a strict game plan that is as viable today as it was in 1964.

It stands to reason that if your kitchen is a well-planned workshop rather than a booby-trap filled with pitfalls, your lot will be an easier one.

A reliable oven...sharp knives...are as vital to a hostess-cook as an oxygen mask to a diver.

"A place for everything and everything in its place."

Open shelves, in tiers along the wall, close to the work space, are better than tranquillizers.

A recipe box is to a cook what a Stillson wrench is to a plumber.

Don't be stingy with your recipes. Give them to anyone who asks for them.

The cocktail interval before dinner not only provides immediate, warming hospitality, but it enables the hostess-cook to serve the equivalent of a first course, which otherwise would be difficult to  manage.

What to serve for that cocktail interval?  How about...

Balls Tartare

1/2 pound top round or sirloin, minced twice
1/2 pound fresh sauerkraut
Salt and pepper
1/2 teaspoon caraway seeds
Chopped chives or parsley

Season the meat and form into 24 flat rounds.  Drain the sauerkraut, chop very fine, and add caraway sees.  Place 1/2 teaspoon of this mixture on each meat round and fold the meat over so that it entirely encloses the sauerkraut.  Shape into small balls and roll in finely chopped chive or parsley.  Chill in refrigerator until ready to serve.  Have a small glass filled with toothpicks on the platter.

What else is there to say?  How about, "Make mine a double!"  Happy cocktail interval.

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The How-Not-to-Miss-the-Cocktail-Hour-Cookbook

Just as the Swinging Sixties were rolling to an end, Edward Lowman was gathering all of his entertaining expertise into a single volume -- The How-Not-to-Miss-the-Cocktail-Hour-Cookbook. Lord knows we have no intention of missing the cocktail hour, so this little cookbook is simply a must-have. We are told from the start:

"The joy of cooking for friends is in spending time with them. Time away from guests is precious. The secret of cooking-cum-conviviality is now told by an inveterate entertainer with gourmet tastes."

The recipes and menus in this volume promise no more than 20 minutes in the kitchen and away from the cocktails. In fact each recipe has its own TAG time. (That would be the Time Awayfrom Guests.)

Surprisingly, Edward Lowman, who happens to be a medical doctor, is a huge fan of MSG. He just loves to throw it in everything and swears that there is no proof that MSG in any way affects those hypochondriacs who complain of headaches and other ailments. I already have a headache.

Lowman has a very good list of shortcuts at the beginning of his book and a list of things not to do. Lowman says:

"There are many good prepared food products that measure up well in the art of gourmet shortcuts, but there are others that will dismally betray your trust and expose you with an inferior result. These latter are what I dub "N.O.O.C.D." which translated means, "Not of our class, darling!""

On his "Yes-Yes" list he includes items such as prepared pie crusts, packaged breadcrumbs, frozen cleaned uncooked shrimp, curry powder, and bakery bread. No-Nos include canned shrimp, instant coffee, pre-cooked rice and cornbread mix! (I am totally creeped out just typing "cornbread mix."

Alas, many of his soups begin with canned soup, and of course, I feel that most probably, canned soup should end up on the "no-no" list. Here is the very first recipe. The TAG time is a mere 1 minute. Just the time it takes to drag it out of the refrigerator. This recipe sounds positively dreadful and yet, there is something about it that makes it sound that it just might work, you be the judge.

Quick Pâté Maison

2 6-ounce packages liverwurst
1 3-ounce package cream cheese
2-tablespoon butter, melted
1 1/2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon MSG
1 1/2 tablespoon sherry
1/4-teaspoon salt
1/2-teaspoon curry powder
1/3-cup mayonnaise
Pinch nutmeg

Have liverwurst and cheese at room temperature (easier to mix). Combine all ingredients and mash and cream well together, using a fork; do not use and electric blender. Chill well.

Frankly, if you stuffed this into tiny little ramekins and served it with some toast points, it might just be a winner.

The best news - you will only miss 1 minute of cocktails.

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Dinner On A Toothpick

Dinner on a Toothpick is a guide to feeding 4 to 40 without forks. Since the Superbowl is at hand, this little gem from 1971 is filled with bites to skewer on a toothpick, so an easy guide for appetizers.

Written by Josephine Camille and Gail Johnson this little book is meant to be an introduction to “casual dining” or more specifically a way to serve up a cocktail buffet. It does seem a bit curious that there has been so much recent interest in cocktails but not so much in cocktail snacks.

Dinner on a Toothpick is chocked full of balls. Beet balls, olive balls, bourbon balls and of course meatballs. There is nothing earth shattering about the appetizers featured in the book. It does have a nifty chart in rear of the book that features a chart for every appetizer in the book listing among other things whether it is hot or cold, hearty or secondary, bland or spicy and whether it could be made in advance.

Since balls are easily skewered and since everyone likes a little dessert, her is how to make bourbon balls.

Bourbon Balls

1 cup vanilla wafers, rolled fine
2 jiggers bourbon
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 cup pecans or walnuts, finely chopped
1 1/2 tablespoons white corn syrup
powdered sugar

Mix all the ingredients and form into small balls. Roll in powdered sugar. May be stored in a jar in the refrigerator.

How easy is that?

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Easy Summer Food

I know, summer is waining! So what better time than to fill the days with summer food while we still have time. Easy Summer Food is another one of those lavishly photographer offering from Ryland, Peters & Small, a British publishing house that does wonders with small cookbooks. I have a profound fondness for their books. They tend to be a bit small and specialized, but this one is meaty.

Easy Summer Food has a collective authorship though it seems to be largely written by Maxine Clark. I have read several reviews of this book that criticize it because the recipes are too complicated and it says "easy" in the title. Seriously, how "easy" does one want them? Paella and grilled duck take some time and a few ingredients.

Here is a recipe that is about as easy as it gets. It is also yummy.

Chorizo in Red Wine

1 tablespoon olive oil
10 oz. small, spicy fresh chorizo sausages, cut into 1/2-inch slices
1/2 cup red wine
crusty bread, to serve

Put the oil in a heavy skillet and heat until smoking. Add the chorizo and cook for 1 minute. Reduce the heat, add the wine, and cook for 5 minutes.

Transfer to a serving dish and set aside to develop the flavors. Serve with warm crusty bread.

This recipe is a perfect example of taking something that you grab at the market and, with just a bit of thought, turning it into something that is special.

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Pad Parties

Pad Parties is a campy recipe/party planner/craft compendium of the recently-tacky-making-a-comeback- school of entertaining decor. Matt Maranian is the King of Kitsch. Not just kitsch but ultra-Kitsch-O-Rama.

So after writing several books on how exactly to decorate your house in the absolute over the top style, it was only a matter of time before he rustled up a cookbook . After all, after you have spent months gathering Tiki torches and lava lamps and shag carpeting into your humble abode, you will need to entertain the neighbors.

This book has tons of unusual projects to make for your PAD. It also features a lovely musical selection as one can't decorate with Tiki and faux fur and play Susanne Vega at a party. As for the recipes, there are some really nifty little bites for your pad or any other party you might just decide to throw. Here's an updated fave for the Mad Men crowd.

Gutless Rumaki

1/2 cup soy sauce
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
1/2 teaspoon curry powder (optional)
1/2 pound sliced bacon
Two 8-ounce cans whole water chestnuts, drained
Wooden toothpicks
Brown sugar

Stir together soy sauce, ginger and curry powder, if using, together in a measuring cup and set aside. Cut the scrappy quarter end off each bacon slice, making for a strip measuring about 6 inches long. Snugly roll each bacon slice over a water chestnut and skewer with a toothpick.

Place the rumaki in a single layer on the bottom of a shallow dish then pour soy sauce mixture over, carefully drenching each roll. Let sit, covered and refrigerated for about 1 hour.

Preheat the broiler and position the rack 4 to 6 inches from the heat source. Spread a generous layer of brown sugar on a plate. Dredge each rumaki in the brown sugar getting as good a coverage as possible. Place the rumaki 1 or 2 inches apart in a broiler pan and broil for about 10 minutes turning frequently, until bacon is crisp.

Now get out there an party.
If you are in need of an ensemble to wear and find yourself in Brattleboro, Vermont, you can check out Matt's shop, Boomerang.

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Aperitif

Christmas is over.

The problem with Christmas on Friday is guests feel they should just spend the whole weekend. If they insist, have them take down decorations, or shovel snow, seriously, put them to work!

It they decide to head on home and you have a moment to breath, take this opportunity to sit quietly and rehash the holiday festivities with a simple aperitif and an olive or two. Georgeanne Brennan has a lovely book called Aperitif. Like all of her books, they are simple and gorgeous. It really doesn’t matter if you ever make a recipe from her books; you simply want to look and them and crawl inside.


It is a little late to have you make your own aperitif, so grab one you like from the bar; a nice sherry, Dubonnet, Campari, or my favorite, Lillet.

Now try one of these simple snacks.

In the Mediterranean they have a tiny clam called tellines, which are about the size of your thumbnail. They are a favorite accompaniment to an aperitif. Look for the smallest clams or mussels you can find.

Garlic Sautéed Clams

1 pound small clams or mussels
1/4 cup olive oil
4cloves garlic, minced
1/4 minced fresh parsley

Wash the clams thoroughly under running water to remove and grit, sand or dirt. Discard any that do not close when touched. Clean the mussels in the same way, plus, using scissors, clip any beards that are evident. Rough dry the shellfish with a towel.

In a skillet large enough to hold all the clams or mussels at one time in a near-single layer, warm the olive oil over medium heat. Add the garlic and sauté for a minute or two, stirring, but do not let the garlic brown. Add the clams or mussels to the pan and turn them with a wooden spoon, coating them with the olive oil. Sprinkle on the parsley and cook, shaking the pan and stirring, just until the shells open, 2 to 3 minutes. Serve immediately.

Or try this one.

Dried Figs with Bacon and Fresh Goat Cheese

12 dried figs as Mission
1/4 pound fresh goat cheese, divided into 12 equal portions
2 or 3 slices bacon, cut into 2-inch-long pieces, to total 12

Preheat the broiler. Make a lengthwise slit in each fig. Tuck a portion of cheese into each slit, then wrap with a piece of bacon and secure closed with a toothpick.

Arrange on a broiler pan and slip into the broiler. Broil, turning once, just until bacon is browned and barley crisped.

Sit quietly, and enjoy the silence. Only 364 days till Christmas!

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Martha Stewart's Hors d'Oeuvres

I admit it, I love Martha Stewart. I tend to like the books that were actually, composed by Martha Steward. I have little use for those large compilations that come form her enormous staff and simply have her photo stuck to the front. But, when Miss Martha was cooking in her kitchen in Connecticut, borrowing dishes from relatives and arranging the same table over and over with different tablecloths and flowers, she was great.

A couple of weeks ago, Harry Lowe and Al, were off at an auction. They found a couple of books being discarded and ransacked the trash for me. One of books was a pristine, 1st Edition of her 1984 classic, Martha Stewart's Hors d'Oeuvres. There was much debate over whether Miss Martha had ever been that young, but I assured them, it was a very young Martha on the cover in classic 80's style.

The previous owner had clearly planned a party around this book, because several pages were bookmarked with notation of what to make on that page. This seemed to be popular and a tad on the easy side, but here goes.

Apricots with Bleu du Bresse

1/2 pound blue de Bresse, at t room temperature
15 fresh apricots, pitted and halved

Spread 1 teaspoon softened cheese on each apricot half. Serve at room temperature, or put under the broiler for 1 minute, just until the cheese begins to melt.

Yes, it's fruit stuffed with blue cheese. Remember, it was 1984 and most women wanted OUT of the kitchen and really couldn't be bothered with stuffing their fruit with cheese.

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